Eragon

Ok, so I watched Eragon in the theater after it came out, around a year or so ago. I was pretty disgusted with it then, but today I decided to watch it again, in order to make a proper post about how it is soooo bad.

There really is no easy way to start, so I'll begin at the beginning. A note to those who haven't seen Eragon yet. You may not want to read on, as I most likely am going to somewhat "spoil" the movie, story, etc. However, it is really not worth that much, so as far as I am concerned, it isn't a big deal...

So. The beginning. I probably cringed at least half a dozen times during the first five minutes of the movie. First of all, the big antagonist, Galbatorix, played by John Malkovich, can't act worth beans. And besides that, every line that he says is absolutely idiotic. I don't know if the author himself came up with the lines or if some ridiculous writer did, and I know I haven't read the first book of the trilogy, but really. There is no reason that the lines have to be that stupid. I know for sure I could have come with better ones myself.

And on the topic of poor acting and lines, the same can really be said for much of the rest of the cast. The only exceptions would be Jeremy Irons (Brom), who is a half-way decent actor, even if a lot of his lines aren't that good, and also Sienna Guillory (Arya), who can sometimes manage to get through her lines without sounding like a ridiculous little kid.

It wouldn't be quite as bad (though, admittedly, still not really worth watching) if the story was halfway decent. This, however, isn't the case. In fact, one can draw many direct parallels to Star Wars. I will go through the main ones here:

1. The main character, Eragon, is a simple farm boy that is thrown into extraordinary circumstances, and basically has to save the world--Luke Skywalker is a simple farm boy that will end up saving the world, or in Star Wars' case, the galaxy.

2. Eragon's cousin goes off from home in order to avoid being conscripted into Galbatorix's army--Although not completely depicted in the movie, Luke Skywalker's friend leaves before Luke can and joins the Rebellion.

3. Eragon's uncle is killed when minions of Galbatorix search for Eragon and the egg--Luke's uncle and aunt are killed when stormtroopers arrive on Tatooine, searching for the escaped droids.

4. Eragon begins his journey with Brom, as they travel in search for the Varden--Luke starts on a journey with Obi-Wan Kenobi to get to the Alliance.

5. Brom was a dragon rider and starts training Eragon to become one as well--Kenobi is a Jedi Master and begins training Luke to be a Jedi as well.

6. Princess Arya is captured by the bad guys, and held in the castle. Eragon gets it in his thick head to try and save her. In the process, Brom is killed while protecting Eragon--Luke and Han go to rescue Princess Leia after being trapped on the Death Star. Kenobi is killed in defense, allowing the rest to escape.

7. Eragon and his group travel to the Varden in order to ally themselves and hopefully defeat Galbatorix--Luke travels to Yavin IV in order to join the Rebels in their fight against the Empire.

8. The evil army attacks the Varden, but thanks to Eragon and his dragon, the good guys prevail and destroy the army (and don't bring up the fact that because Eragon and his dragon were present, they had a much better chance of winning. The simple fact is that the Shade was defeated way to easily, and that Eragon and Saphira should have both died)--The Death Star comes to Yavin IV in order to destroy it, but Luke and the Alliance overcome insurmountable odds and end up destroying it.

And something which isn't directly in the first movie, but is in the story of Eragon in general:

Eragon seems to have a connection with the man who killed Brom's dragon. I'm a little rusty on this, since it has been a while since I read the second book, but I think Eragon was actually related to him, and if so, the obvious comparison can be drawn to Luke and his father, Vader. Likewise, Eragon gets this guy's sword, like Luke gets Vader's old lightsaber.

And those are some of the comparisons just about the story. Then there are several things about the movie itself. The one that immediately stood out the most is that many different panoramic terrain sweeps are used. While this isn't necessarily a bad or wrong thing to do, the ones used are all trademark camera motions from Lord of the Rings.

These ramblings mainly concern the first book and movie. However, there is a whole new set of issues that pop up with the second book, but I think I've gone on long enough with this post already.

My basic conclusion that I have come to after some serious thought about both the book and the movie is this: the author is a kid who wanted to create a story that would have the sort of acclaim that the masters, namely Star Wars and Lord of the Rings, have gotten. In the process, he ripped a ton of ideas from many different stories, and jammed them together in this horrific piece. In fact, I'm surprised Lucas hasn't sued the guts out of this guy, as I certainly would have...

The thing that really astounds me is that a film studio actually agreed to make this movie. All I have to say is that in general, people are quite stupid. This sentiment has been affirmed over and over again in the last few months, and frankly, it is quite sad the state that the human race is currently in. However, this is a whole other issue that I won't get into now.

Eragon isn't worth watching from a story or acting point of view. The only redeeming features of it is the music, which isn't half bad, and the fiery explosions. So, if that is what you like, then it might be worth watching, once. Other than that, there is nothing good about it.